Dad7hawk9 (smacks Dan across the head) Cut that otay shit out, you’re not Buckwheat!
? I saw this pic of a coffee cup with the word “unt” on it. it took me a few seconds to realize the handle to the left was in the shape of the letter C. I’d like to give one of those to Mystic after i take a sharpie and write the word “Fingerbanged” above their wording. ?===
Blogger sees dan say this for the 1000th time, suddenly the appears as we go back in time to Dan’s parents teaching him aforementioned social skills.
Dad7hawk9 So now you see son, tipping your hat as a gesture of greeting or acknowledgement is a sign of respect dan7hawk9 Thanks dad! Mom7hawk9 Ok so yesterday we covered proper silverware place settings and how you don’t chew with your mouth open, did you practice that as i instructed? dan7hawk9 i shore did ma, but i look like a donkey when i chew with my mouth closed Mom7hawk9 Better to look like a donkey than to be an ass Dad7hawk9 Your mother is right 
son, ok so today we are going to cover proper bathroom habits when in public Mom7hawk9 Honey, do you think it’s time for that? Maybe we should cover this another day Dad7hawk9 No we cover this now, he is starting to go to the Saturday matinee every weekend Mom7hawk9 I know i know you’re right, it just feels like he’s growing too fast Dad7hawk9 I know honey, i’ll keep it simple. Ok son, when you go to the movies, do you buy yourself a soda? dan7hawk9 I shore do pops. Ok so when you get a soda, what size do you get dan7hawk9 I get a medium, they’re pretty expensive Dad7hawk9 Tell you what son, i will give you a little bit extra allowance so you can get the largest cup possible dan7hawk9 Otay dad! thanks! And no thanks needed, it’s the least i can do to help urgent bladder situations. See, if you’re like me, you never want to leave the theater until the movie is over. So what you do is while you’re watching, eat your popcorn, drink your soda and by the time you get to the Good n Plenty you’re probably going to need to go to the bathroom. Resist the urge. Simply make sure you are a few seats away from everyone else if possible. then deftly slide your zipper down and take your last remaining gulp of soda, pull the lid off and “cup” it under your lil johnson and let it flow. let it flow like the mighty Misssissippi during flood season son. dan7hawk9 ok dad! that will save me lots of time standing in line at the urinal while i’m missing the movie. But do i have to get Good n Plenty’s? They’re a little bit faggy. Dad7hawk9 So are you son, so are you. But it’s like your recycling the cup for a good purpose! Now that concludes our social skills lesson of the day. Tomorrow we will cover The Proper Methods Of Masturbation Outside With Your Dog Nearby.
Anatomy Of A Perfect Chatroom Beatdown
Before i get to the “cunt heard ‘round the world”, I want to speak to a sidetrack on this bitch (Mystic). As most of you know, she puts the con in conspiracy theories and discussed one of the stupidest ones i’ve heard in recent years. If this particular one were a Hardy Boys book, it would be called The Case of the Missing Presidential Seal. What this bullshit is based on, as I’ve read on Reddit and other sources, is that when Trump eventually declared all 50 states a national emergency, that it somehow gave FEMA total control of the federal government. And because FEMA is supposedly now in power, then Trump can’t use the presidential seal on that podium because he is no longer in power. I don’t know what kind of low IQ mentality it takes to come up with bullshit like this, but to give you a bigger picture of conspiracy theories in general, I’ve been hearing about all those large “hidden” sites of FEMA coffins since the mid 80’s. First, Reagan was supposed to allow FEMA to round up undesirables and put them in camps and then eventually in all those millions and millions of coffins stored at those sites. Then Bush 1, then Clinton, then Bush 2 and boy did it ever ramp up after Obama got into power (there’s a black man in the White House and he’s going to let the UN roll in and imprison millions. ). Not one of these idiots ever considered that maybe FEMA has coffins stored because they’re the goddamn Federal Emergency Management Agency and part of managing a goddamn federal emergency is the ability to store and/or bury bodies. ?My researching this presidential seal crap led me to a couple of places where people logically explained that the podium is missing the presidential seal because they are using a different briefing room than has been used in the past. And the one they’re using for the daily briefings now has also been used in the past by past presidents. And in the video at the end of this post happens to be Obama speaking in either that same room with the same exact podium that is ALSO missing the presidential seal or one that looks like it. And it has the SAME EXACT sign behind him on the wall that says Washington without the D.C. part of the name. So Mystic and all you other stupid motherfuckers, could someone please explain to me when Obama turned power of the federal government over to FEMA and why? No? You can’t? Thought so.